Confession: Ick and ouch

I'd rather lose one fricken pound per week then be up and down seven pounds every day. What the f is wrong with me??

I'm so clumsy that I twisted my ankle on some broken concrete that is on the side of my driveway. What an idiotic cluts! I landed on my already jacked up right knee and now my left ankle and left hip are killing me.

So much for even thinking of getting on the treadmill.

Pee Pee!

D went potty on his own today. YAY! I was in my bathroom with ANOTHER bloody nose (ah, sweet stress, spiking my blood pressure!) when D said something about going potty. "Ok, ok" I say to him figuring I could get him out of my tiny bathroom and not get blood everywhere. But then it got very quiet. I found him on his little potty with his pants and diaper off and he had peed! Not in the potty, but around it because he didn't get behind the guard just right and streamed right over it. Oh well, who could mad at least he was trying!! I think maybe now it's time to get dilagent about potty training.

Well I'm off for now, I'm not alone. *wink, wink*

Just when I think it's ok...

My mom opens her big fat mouth. No one makes E feel crappy without pissing me off. She is so stupid sometimes.

E has been busting his ass to help her find a car. She is so indecisive that she has him driving all around the state trying to find her the perfect car for dirt cheap. Oh and with almost NO miles. Yea, good luck in your price range.

He went out with her again today after she had morning service to look at yet another car. It wasn't the one, again. She was stressing out and told E that she needed to go to evening service to "be with people of her faith". He joked that did she think that he wasn't good enough to be with? No, she replied "You are not a son of God".

What The Fuck????

I am MORTIFIED and PISSED OFF.

Her fucking church friends aren't taking time out of the day to print off cars that she might like in her price range. They aren't taking time in the evening to take her around and they aren't time during the weekend to drive to town after town to test drive cars and talk to smarmy sales men. E has had no relaxing time this weekend. AND he does it without complaint. She is lucky to have him at her beck and call. WHERE ARE HER FUCKING SELF SERVING 'CHRISTIAN' FRIENDS?

As you can tell I'm fuming. I feel like she is just a self absorbed bitch who expects God to drive a car in the lot and it'll be all good. Give it to God and no work for you.

I feel so bad for E. He laughed it off saying that it was no big deal, but I know it hurt his feelings. I don't know whether to tell her anything or not. How dare she??? Or is she just so oblivious to others that she just doesn't realize what her mouth is spewing???

Man I'm so mad. The more I think about it the more mad I get. Grrr. And just when she was not grating my last damn nerve.

As mad as I am, I'm more disappointed about how disrespectful she is. And she wonders people always fight with her *insert martyr face here*. Just shut the fuck up sometimes.

Yes, Mae I do think of cutting her off for a while when she pulls shit like this, but I don't have the heart to kick her out. The martyr face is really pathetic!

Friday mash-up!

Yeah, yeah I stole that title. HeHe.

~My knee is killing me. It's the same knee that prompted the weight loss of '03. It's so bad now that I can't stand up from a sitting position and walk. I limp like an old lady. I'm so pissed at myself for all this weight gain.

~Why oh why am I wide awake at two in the fricking morning??? Where is sleep?

~I have had three gray/white hairs for about a couple of months or so. They're in the same area (right in the front) and I have decided that I'm not getting rid of them or any others that come up. No pulling, no dye, they are mine and I'm leaving them. They aren't offensive and makes me feel my age. Well kind of...34 years old and a few grays, not so important. I always feel so young (except for my fucking knee).

~D had school this week. It was only for one hour but it was by himself, I left. He did good, has a little friend from last class (she is cute and sweet) and she is so painfully shy. She also has separation issues and so it's good for her to have D in the same class, he brings her toys to play with, includes her and makes sure she is involved in the class. "C'mon Anya" he says to her. Her G-ma and I kind of bullied the young, new teacher to keep them in the same class together and at the early time. She reluctantly agreed, but agreed all the same. He goes once a week for an hour. Once potty trained we are thinking of putting him in a longer class.

~I work with my BFF for the next three weekends. Yay! She makes the days go so much faster. I'm looking forward to work. What a surprise!

~My mom had been doing the Hokey Pokey with D some evenings. Tonight he asked for "Pokey Pokey" and I watched them dance. OMG, he looked like such a big boy! Then he asked (as well as he could) to sleep with his "Gee-Ma" and so I agreed that since it is Friday and he will not be bothersome, Gramma could have a slumber party. Since she has lived with us he has only slept with her one other time. I put the smack down on that. Everyone needs their sleep. Anyway, he is cute doing the 'Pokey Pokey'. What a lovie!

I guess I'm ready for bed. I'm finally tired. Thank goodness I work late.

Happy Saturday!!!

All's well

Good grief, could Mike Rowe from 'Dirty Jobs' be any hotter?? I wish I had a dirty, nasty job that he could help me with. The only nasty job I have is changing Boo's poopy diaper and how gross and boring would that be?

I'm good, my mom is good and not driving me nuts for the time being. I'm still not used to someone who talks so much but so far she has been great with Boo and she was sweet the other day thanking us for being there for her, to help her and give her a place to stay. Her and E are growing closer while looking for a car for her. He loves cars and she needs one. It's cute, she will go look at a car, he drives it first and then she'll drive it and then all the way home from the car lot she and he will talk about the car, how it drives, how roomy it is, how the price is, ect, ect. Then they look it up on the internet and talk about whether it's worth the price or not. I'm glad they get along. But she really needs to bust a butt, her rental is up on Tuesday so she needs to choose a car this weekend. We'll see.

I didn't mention that I got a new car as well. A Subaru Legacy. A Subaru, I know!! When E recomended it I scoffed, laughed and then refused, but in the end it won me over, it is so pretty and fun. It corners like no other and I can't wait for a big snow storm to drive it in! I would show a pic but E's computer is off so maybe later. It is 'Newport Blue Pearl' and is just so pretty and zippy. I love to drive it. I've been spoiled and get to drive it a lot so it won't get rock chips from the freeway driving E does but I made an appointment for it to get a clear bra put on on Saturday so E can drive it more and put less milage on our other, paid-off car. Oh it is so pretty. I will miss driving it. I know, a Subaru, who would have known?

I should get to bed even though I still I have so much to say. Like D's first day of pre-pre school, and other stuff I'll think of later.

Good night. Happy Friday (almost)

I'll dream a tiny dream of Mike Rowe. Don't tell E!

5th floor kind of crazy!

I've wanted to update but find that every post I start is just bitching about my mom. I hate that she is consuming my life and sucking the joy out of it but I'm tired of bitching about her all the time. However I NEED to vent and I guess this is the best place. I'm afraid I'll lose my real life friends if I tell one more story.

Just when I think it couldn't get any worse and it HAS to get better, it gets so much more awful.

Good news! She got a job! She started last Friday!

Horrible news! She totalled her car after church service on Sunday night. "I was just singing and tried to turn off my brights and I over corrected and I was spinning around and landed in a really deep ditch!"

She drives like an idiot, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if she was checking her fucking phone for text messages because her AZ church friends always text her after service to check in on her. She's always on that fricken' phone. I'm about to throw it in the toilet and flush it.

So I was at Target with E looking for a gift for his mom and I got that old familiar call: a weepy, shaky voice on the other end of the phone: "Hello, Jae? It's Mom." I've been getting these calls for about four months now and I'm sick of them. I hate that I sound so mean but I feel like the adult trying to pick up the pieces of her loser child that just can't get it together. I'M TIRED OF PICKING UP HER PIECES!! WHY CAN'T SHE BE A NORMAL MOTHER???????

I'm so sick of her and I feel terrible about it. I have an acid pit in my stomach and always feel nauseated. I cry everyday in the shower. Maybe I should start taking Effexor again, I have a ton of it in my cabinet, just to dull my nerves and make her more bearable. I'm at the end of my rope and I'm sure there is more drama to come because drama, turmoil and bad luck just surrounds her like a black cloud, kind of like the cloud of dirtiness surrounds Pigpen.

What am I going to do??????

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