Little Boo

Oh, I had to republish my blog and there were all my posts. I was worried there for a moment!

Ever since we changed D's bed into a toddler bed he has been coming into our room at night to sleep with us. E just pulls him in and puts him between us. Usually he sleeps but there are the nights he wrestles all night. Between getting punched in the eyes and kicked in the lower back and butt is not fun. Last night I actually had to move to the futon in the office to get any rest. I think I'm officially out of the bed. It was a bad habit to start and now I can just imagine D a ten year old boy still climbing between us.

Another thing that has been happening is horrible tantrums. He always seems to have them when we go out in the afternoons. He had such a terrible one on Tuesday I had to leave the store (not the first time) and I was so pissed. I screamed at him to 'Shut the fuck up' and told him that I hated him. God, I'm such a shitty mother. Yesterday we were out with my mom and he threw a fit. We got him something to eat and he was better. I'm wondering if he needs an earlier lunch. But then again here he is have a fit over some sunglasses he just broke and I threw away. He's freaking out.

I'm wondering if I should find a day care to take him and I'll go back to work. I love him and have always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but I don't think I'm cut out for it anymore. My patience are so thin right now and getting thinner. The sad part is that I seriously want a sibling for D, but could I handle it?? At this point I don't know.

I hope he grows out of this stage. I can't take it much longer.

And my cute pink RAZR? It's broken and now I have to deal with customer service. Wish me luck.

Where's my blog?

I sometimes just check my blog to see what's going on and today it's gone. What the heck???

Pain in the ass post!

(I wrote this post at work earlier and dug around for a floppy to save it on. Good grief, what a pain! My laptop doesn't have a floppy drive, E's computer doesn't either so I had to put this post on his work laptop in a way that he couldn't read it or have easy access to this blog. It wasn't easy, but I hope I'm smarter than your average bear!)



Thanksgiving was pretty great. We re-arranged the house so that there were three couches in the living room, a long buffet table in the dining room and we turned the TV room into the dining room. There was so much room for everyone to move around, get food, get up and get around the table. It was awesome. D got tons of attention and love from everyone. The only thing I feel bad about is when I pooh-poohed everyone when D smacked his face. I told them not to worry about it; he always bonks his head. Then about 15 minutes later I saw that he had a big swollen cheek with blood spots on it. I felt so bad when I saw it! Bad momma!

Today I feel crappy. I don't want to work; I don't want to be here busting my ass. I'm tired and cranky and feel so fat and uncomfortable today, yet I want to eat. It's weird, the feeling I'm having right now is probably like that of a druggie or an alcoholic; I know that eating will make me feel physically shitty once I've done it, but I'm craving the calming void it will bring while I'm actually eating. Forgetting everything else but the taste and smell of the food and the act of eating. But I finally REALIZE that once I'm done eating I'll feel even more bloated and gross and I'll still have all that work to do. So I'm writing this instead.

I suppose I should get my work done so I can get out of here at a decent time. Just to be back tomorrow!

Countdown to Thanksgiving, Part 1

Today is dedicated to shopping and cleaning. I've already got all the shopping done and it seems like I have everything so far, which is incredible because usually I forget 40 different things and have to make a few very expensive trips (because Lord knows I can't get just what I need!!) back to the store. This time I made a very detailed list and pretty much stuck to it. Good for me!

Now after my quick lunch break of mac and cheese (very yummy, very, very bad for me) I need to start cleaning. Lately we've done a pretty good job of keeping everything picked up so basically I just need to wipe stuff down. I did a power mopping Saturday night so I just need to swiffer the floor, dust, wipe counters. The most work will be in the bathroom because to me it never looks clean.

Tomorrow is for cooking and getting everything ready to pop in the oven on Thrusday.

So far I've been pretty stress free. I hope it continues.

Come on Blogger, sometimes less is more!!

I tried to get a new blogger blog to keep personal stuff on, weight loss stats and the rest, but the New! Blogger! Beta! works for shit. It's slow, it hangs, and it's getting on my last fucking nerve.

How come when things become 'New and Improved!!' it ends up being crappy and dumb?

There, I got that off my chest.

Why do they have to spit??

Please don't read this if you are eating or porn offenses you.

D is gone for the weekend and I thought it would be fun to record some dirty movies for us to watch together sometime this weekend. There are about five channels to chose from so I settled in with the remote to check them out.

No kidding--every single channel I turned to had someone spitting on someone elses privates! Yuck. That totally turns me off! I'd gross out and turn the channel and there it was again!! Eww! If the porn industry is a billion dollar industry then why don't they get their 'actors' some lube? It's really not that expensive and would be much more appealing to watch.

Needless to say, we'll be using our imaginations this weekend. If I can get turned back on!

The what's-for-dinner game

Every day, Monday thru Friday I play this little dreadful game. What's for dinner? What do I have in this house that could be put together for a delightful meal? Or even a average meal?

I'm not the type of person that can just 'whip stuff up'. I wish I was especially tonight.

On the menu for tonights dinner: Frozen pot pie and frozen pizza. Just like a buffet!!

Maybe I should take a cooking class.

What are you having for dinner?

How much to eat and lose weight??

I'm a binge eater and binge drinker, and I think that I'm a binge blocker as well. I blog (and have the desire to blog) for short periods of time all at once.

Anyway...

(There was supposed to be a picture of D as Baby Frankenstein here and me really, really fat, but it wouldn't up load. I'll try tomorrow!)

In weight related news--

I lost 5 lbs this week just by cutting portions and being aware of what I am eating!

My friend Coleen is not happy with her weight so she did what any almost-normal-sized-person does and cut portions. She eats a half of a sandwich instead of a whole, she drinks ice water with lemon instead of snacking and she is looking good. I really, really hate writing down EVERYTHING I eat, counting the caloried, calculating where I went WRONG and hating myself. Who in real life does that? Does every thin person have notebook after notebook of what she ate that year, month, week?? Usually not!

What also got me thinking of this is another weightloss blog and a comment (paraphrasing): What will you eat when you meet your goal weight??

Well, if you have my body/metabolism not very much. I have almost no muscle, no stamina and no metabolism. So realistically I shouldn't be eating a whole lot. And really, I can't see myself spending a whole year or so losing weight and counting calories, working my ass off just to go back to overeating and gaining all my weight back. So I guess I should work on my 'eating habits' now and when I reach goal it will be easy. I think...

We'll see.